I had heard people say that when you have kids (especially once they start talking), you have to come out over and over again. As the girls and I take part in more classes and meet more people, I feel like this couldn't be more true.
We are fortunate to live in a very open-minded and diverse city like Toronto. I'm actually surprised by the number of people who will use the word "partner," as opposed to "husband" in conversation. Regardless, I still frequently get asked 'what my husband does?' or receive comments about how 'my husband and I must have our hands full.' There are times when I'll just nod and smile because explaining seems like too much work. More often than not though, I'll have to explain.
When it comes to having twins, many people often assume that you must have had fertility issues and therefore used IVF. I referred to this in earlier blog entries. I often get asked if twins run in my family or my "husband's family." My grandfather was a twin so that is an easy-enough response.
As I said before, I feel very lucky to live in such an amazing city. I have no problems explaining to others that our family doesn't have a husband or father. Long before having the twins, I remember feeling worried about our future children not having strong male role models in their lives. That fear was quickly squashed when the girls arrived. My dad and brothers have been an integral part of the girls' lives from day one. The way that the girls smile at my dad or giggle at my brothers' funny faces truly warms my heart.
The Globe & Mail, a Canadian newspaper, ran a story about lesbian moms over the weekend. "A series of studies in Canada and elsewhere over the past decade has found that the children of lesbians aren't just well-adjusted – they excel. On average, kids with two moms seem to be more confident and less aggressive than those raised by a mom and a dad. They are open-minded, affectionate and less susceptible to anxiety and depression." It's amazing to read about how far gay parents have come over the last few decades. While our girls will have some common challenges growing up, I feel confident that challenges related to having two moms will be few and far between.