Saturday, May 23, 2015

The days are long, but the years are short.

We just got home from the girls' fourth birthday party. 4TH BIRTHDAY. What?! We are less than a week away from their actual birthday and every year at this time, I become nostalgic. I remember May 2011 vividly. I was as big as a house. A hundred times per day I wondered whether I was going to go into labour at that moment, knowing in my gut that my babies were staying in until they were forced out. This is the last photo that I have of myself…2 1/2 weeks before their eviction. I really wish I had one from the 38 week mark.

36 weeks pregnant

The years fly by. 

The days are long. These days they're damn long. For the first time in four years, I finish many days thinking that I would rather go back to work. I don't want to sound ungrateful. I'm glad that I'm able to spend these years with the girls. But lately, our days are brutal. And hey, everyone can say they dislike their job at some point, right? The days are long and exhausting, filled with tears, fights, tantrums and more tears, from all of us. 

They say that as kids approach their birthday, the shift from one developmental stage to another can cause behavioural issues. "They" are certainly right. Easy-going Teagan has taken a backseat to Tantrum Teagan. Tantrum Teagan, or TT for short, has been throwing fits like we've never seen. Whenever we head into a store, any store, TT zeros in on an item (or two) that she MUST. HAVE. NOW. She starts with a "Mommy, can I have ___?" When I tell her that we aren't going to buy ___ today, she starts. She yells and demands that I buy it for her immediately. She starts crying and screaming and has even hit me. This is all new. She's testing limits like I've never seen. 

The back talk. Oh man. The talking back is horrendous. "Quinny, please pick up the napkins that you threw on the floor." "NO! YOU pick them up, Mommy. YOU threw them." Right. And if I become frustrated after asking them to put on their shoes for the 5th time, I'm lectured by Teagan about how I'm being rude.

The fighting. Q is a sh*t disturber. She knows how to push T's buttons and does it quite subtly and cleverly. She pushes until T loses it. T's current way of handling Q is awful -- biting, hitting, pushing. So, T bites and Q screams bloody murder. A massive fight ensues. Sometimes I step in, but sometimes I sit back and let them go at it.

The tantrums, hitting, back talk. It's hard not to take it personally. I'm with them all the time. Am I doing something wrong?

I know it's a phase. I'm hoping that this phase magically ends on Friday at 7:28am. Teagan's birth day and time.

The years are oh so short. I cannot believe that four years have passed since those two little monkeys came into our lives. I cannot believe the little people that they've become. Yes, challenging at times. But, incredibly sweet, loving and hilarious little people who stop in mid-play to run over and whisper in my ear, I love you. I must not be messing up that badly, right?!


  1. You're not messing up at all! Every age has challenges and joys. My boys fight a lot too, like a LOT, so I know exactly what you're feeling. I feel some level of frustration and guilt and wonder if I'm any good at this every day. But then they do wonderful things and are just so awesome and that happens every day too. :) Happy 4th birthday to your girls!

    1. Exactly! Thank God for the wonderful things that they say and the sweet gestures :)

  2. I have been there and then there again. I always feel like something must be wrong because I see other parents and nobody seems to be dealing with what I'm dealing with. (also, I can guarantee that my little boys would make you feel like the best mom EVER) that said. They are growing up and out of it. It seems like by 1st grade they kind of get it. Maybe it's being around those "other" kids all day. They start taking on some of their behavior :-) Or maybe some kids just take a little bit longer to figure it out. My littles are heading to 7 and I am VERY MUCH looking forward to it. Kindergarten has helped. I wished that they weren't in the same class (had to be, only 1 afternoon class) I think that they need more time apart from each other. next year, it's going to rock.
    As for wanting to go back to work. So did I. Until I went back to work. I get to work from home, which is worse, because I don't get away from them....but the things that don't get done and the stuff that I could do before on a whim that we can't do anymore....gone....:-( it makes me sad.
    Ok, enough about me and my kids :-) you are a fabulous mom. Your girls are great and are turning into wonderful people...all with the help and guidance that you give them.

    1. Haha I am well aware that the grass is always greener! Can I just have a glimpse though?! Maybe spend a week doing something else?!

      It's funny because I was dead set on keeping them together in kindergarten, but on some days I do wonder if the break might be good for them. From what I've seen and what I've heard from their preschool teachers though, they spend lots of time apart playing with other kids.

      Thanks for the words of encouragement :)

  3. I am right there in the trenches of this awful phase with you. Our boys were doing so well, listening & being kind & then all of a sudden the exact same things you described started happening ALL THE TIME. I'm not pleased, have thought I must be doing something wrong & am an awful mother too so it's a little refreshing to know my children are not the only ones going through this. I've seriously considered going back to work too & letting someone else deal with the craziness all day long, lol... I am looking forward to Pre-K this fall!!! I'm keeping them together this year since it is their first experience away from home/me. Depending on how it goes will determine whether they stay together in Kindergarten or not & whether or not I go back to work, lol...

  4. I swear to God I'm just now reading this. Now, go read my post from last night. RIGHT there with you. Not enough wine in the world. And yes....I've come >-< this close to looking for a job. Sigh. I know that's not what I really want. But at the times I think that, it sounds like a perfect escape. Reading your post proved it. It's the age. I'll wait here with you for them to become perfect little angels...or at least not crazy. It's GOT to be coming.

  5. Aside from the sibling fights, I could have wrote this. Boo can rock a tantrum like it's her job. I swear she just wakes up pissed somedays. LM is just now coming off of the "f*ck you fours" but the back talking is hanging in strong. I often long to return to work just for some slivers of peace and quiet and oh my goodness regularly adult interaction. I think you are a fantastic mom and yes, the days are long but the years are short. One day we will miss this, right?!?

    Oh, and you looked AMAZING to be that pregnant with twins!