Thursday, July 21, 2016

Stormy Seas

Parenting feels really hard right now. If you're a parent, you might get what I mean. While I would never say that parenting young kids is easy, there are times when we're in a groove and things are just flowing nicely along. Picture the ocean on a calm morning. Gentle waves that don't crash onto the shore. That's not us. The ocean is stormy right now. The waves are big and every single one crashes hard. Does that make any sense? In my sleep-deprived brain, it does. 

The girls are fighting like crazy these days. They wake up after sleeping for 12 hours and start fighting within a matter of minutes. They fight over everything and know how to push each others buttons. They're in a day camp right now. I thought that putting them in separate groups for the day would help matters. Their own counsellors, their own friends, their own space. They seem to like it and haven't complained. Strangely, it has made things worse at home. Between the fighting, crying, lack of listening and whining, I'm ready to run for the hills. I shouldn't complain since they're at camp during the day, but those few hours in the morning and after camp are rougher than ever. Add in Logan's poor sleep habits and his new hearing aid (which is taking some mental and emotional adjustment for me). This too shall pass. 

I hit a low last night when the baby was screaming (overtired), Quinn was whining at me and the dogs started fighting (in the way that sibling dogs do), which resulted in Riley getting injured. I've never heard him yelp and cry like that. Logan was in a safe space so Riley won. He needed my attention the most. With three individuals loudly demanding my attention, plus one more concerned child and two concerned dogs hovering over my head, I was completely overwhelmed.

I'm generally good at dealing with the chaos that is our house. I can usually multitask well and respond to everyone's needs in a timely manner. I'm not sure why or how I feel out of my groove. So, it leads me to wonder if the ocean really is that stormy or is it me? Either way, I know it's a phase. It will shift. 

End vent. 

8 comments:

  1. I'm sorry it's hard right now. I know exactly how you feel with the fighting because my boys go through phases where they fight A LOT, even when they're apart all day. I think you're right that it's worse at home when they're apart all day. I've wondered if it's that they're fighting for our attention as neither has had it all day. At any rate, the noise and chaos when they're arguing makes my anxiety go through the roof.

    You're right, though, these waves do come and go. It's just tough when you're in the middle of one.

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    1. I wonder that too -- about fighting for attention. The girls definitely don't have as much of my attention since Logan came along.
      It's always comforting when other parents can relate :)

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  2. It's not you. It's parenting. There are going to be days like that or even weeks. It happens. We get tired or worn out and our patience gets thin or we get overwhelmed. It happens from time to time but it does get better as they get older. I know I freaked out a lot more than I do these days. When they're older, they can wait for your attention or they need it less.

    The bickering... Our kids fight daily but it comes and goes. With 3, one of them is usually on the outs. But I've found with summer, they've also become best buds. With boys, they get physical a lot and get in trouble when they use hands instead of words. We try and have them in separate areas when they start grating on each other's nerves and just talk about needing space. I have often yelled in the car: Don't look or talk to each other. You aren't getting along right now so not another word--give each other space!

    Big hugs (and a big glass of wine) for you. You got this.

    P.S. I've found my dog sends me over the edge when I'm feeling overwhelmed. He's needy and sometimes he's done bad things like peed on a kid's bed (thank God for waterproof sheets) and it will be the last straw for me. Like I need a dog doing something on top of the overwhelming kid situation.

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    1. Ha! I think I'm saying that constantly in the car! They piss each other off just by looking out the other's window!

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    2. Lol, I say that too, and sometimes I pull the car over. That gets their attention quick! They know if we pull over, they've really crossed the line. :)

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  3. I'd like to say it gets better but alas. My big boys don't fight very often and because of the difference in personalities even when they do it's mild and quickly resolves itself. My little boys however are either playing hard or fighting hard. Summer is worse because they are home all day. I do like and agree with what Shannon said above....they might just be fighting for attention. Or it's a full moon. Or it's just a phase. Or they are just hangry first thing in the morning and need food to adjust to the day. :-)
    Good luck mama.

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  4. Oh I so feel you right now! The boys, the dogs, the fighting & whining, the constant battle for my attention (including the dogs) the noise sends me over the edge!
    I can't wait for school to start in 2 weeks!!! lol

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  5. Parenting more than one child is seriously trying sometimes. At first I thought, this is perfect, gosh they love each other and are so damn sweet....then Boo started walking and walked straight into Little Monster's room to touch his stuff. Cue massive bickering. I know it is normal. I know they are testing and exploring boundaries. But, for goodness sakes, they went ballistic the other day over the "green kindle"....forget that the "purple kindle" is the exact thing!!!!! But one had one and the other had to have that one. You know how it is. Now, sigh, I'm tired again. Lol! Good luck, Mama, hang in there!

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