After we first met and starting hanging out, I totally thought that we were 'mom dating'. My friend, who has twins who are just 1 week younger than the girls, said this to me recently. We started 'mom dating' when the "quads", as we now call them, were just 3 months old.
I remember walking into that first Mom/Baby class lugging two car seats. I looked around the room that was already full of moms and babies, trying to figure out where I was going to sit that had enough room for two bulky buckets. I felt like that awkward kid walking into an already full class on the first day of school.
'Mom dating' as my friend aptly called it, is awkward at first. By the time our first child(ren) come along, most of us are already set in the friend department. We're out of practice at 'friend making'. But, in Canada especially, where a one year maternity leave is the norm, you're going to get bored mighty fast if you don't have people to hang out with during the day. So, once I got used to my life being turned upside down by two babies and Jenn went back to work, I ventured out hoping to meet some new mom friends (and eventually friends for T&Q). I signed us up for two classes, baby yoga and the mom/baby class I mentioned above. The latter proved to be just what I needed.
The good thing about mom dating is that you always have something to talk about; your baby. At 3 months, the topics were endless: SLEEP! Breastfeeding. Bottle feeding. Baby carriers. Strollers. Clothing.
Don't get me wrong, I love my girls and do love to talk about them. But, talking about sleep and poop gets old. If you're on a mom date and can't find anything else to talk about, the date usually ends before an hour is up...or it did for me anyways.
So, mom of twins walks into class and sees another mom of twins. Twin parents often make a beeline for one another. Twins? One of them asks, smiling. Yup! You too? The other answers. It is an instant club that parents of singletons don't quite get.
After that mom and baby class ended eight weeks later, about 10 of us decided to continue getting together every Tuesday afternoon. 10 quickly dropped to six moms. The six of us got together every week and rotated houses. While conversation topics initially started with poop and sleep, we quickly got to know one another minus the babies that we always had in tow. We got to know the other babies as well. As a mom of twins, sometimes two arms aren't enough. My new mom friends would pick up a crying baby if they saw that I had my hands full. They never had to be asked. My girls wouldn't hesitate to sit in the laps of these moms to read a book. As spring turned to summer, play dates turned into additional walks and visits to the farmers markets.
Even when maternity leaves ended and daytime play dates became no more, we planned a monthly moms dinner. Fortunately for all of us, we all live within a few blocks of one another, with the exception of one mom who is about a 20 minute walk north. We have been eating our way through the neighbourhood! While I don't see their children often anymore, when I do, I get excited. It's amazing to see how much they've grown or the new quirks that they've developed.
Since Jenn and I were the first amongst most of our friends to have children, I knew that I was going to have to get out there. It isn't always easy when you're running on little sleep. Fortunately for me, I've never been the homebody-type. I go nuts if I'm home for too long. I was lucky enough to make some amazing new mom friends during the girls' first year.
The e.Harmony commercial keeps running through my head. Did you know that 236 people get married each day after being matched on e.Harmony? If mom dating was a category on e.Harmony, I'd say that I could star in the commercial as a success story ;)