Tuesday, September 17, 2013

2 questions, same outcome

This is how my days go right now...

Early Morning
Me: Teagan, do you want your diaper changed on the floor or on the bed?
Teagan: Ummmm, bed.

Me: Quinn, do you want to wear the pink shirt or the green shirt?
Q: Ummmmm, green.

Me: Girls, will you walk to your high chair or do you want Mommy to carry you? (This is after I've asked them to get in their high chairs 3 times)

Me: Girls, will you actually get in your high chairs on your own or should Mommy put you in? (After they walked to their high chairs and proceeded to play with the straps)
T&Q: Mommy do it!

After breakfast
Me: Girls, will you put on your own shoes or should Mommy do it?
T: TT do it!

Sometime during the morning
Me: Quinn, do you want your diaper changed on the floor or on the couch?
Q: Couch!

At lunch
Me: Girls, do you want a peach or grapes for dessert?
T: Grapes!
Q: Peach!

After lunch
Me: Quinn, can you please stop jumping on Riley or should Mommy come over there and take you off him? (After saying 3 times that we do not jump on the dog)
Q: Q do it!

I think you get the gist.

While many parents of toddlers already do this, I recently discovered the brilliant tactic of giving choices that will still result in the same outcome. Toddler gets to assert her independence. Mommy still gets what she wants. I discovered this after asking them to do things, only to be faced with a ton of resistance, tantrums and fights. It is amazing how giving choices suddenly turns their ability to hear back on!


  1. We started using this trick too. But be warned, sometimes they will shout "No change diaper!" and run away from you laughing. ;)

  2. This worked with Erik. But Ian, whole other story. Every time we offer choices he freaks out because he wants BOTH! Lol.

  3. (laughing like a mad scientist out loud)
    Little do you know that these "choices" you give them....will soon go like this.
    Me : Ryan, would you like to eat Life or Frosted mini wheats for breakfast ?
    Ryan : NEITHER (pissed off at my choices)
    Me : Would you like to pick a different kind of cereal ? or would you like me to pick one for you ?
    Ryan : NO ! I HATE CEREAL ! (which he doesn't he loves it)
    Me : (walk away quietly and wait for the next "choice" that will get thrown back at my face.

    I've followed through and made him a bowl of Life...because that is typically what he chooses and he wastes it. I have also left him to ask or just not eat. If he doesn't eat.....he's a complete hungry asshole later and so I get to pay for his "choices" x5 ! (sigh) parenting sucks sometimes. :)

  4. Love it! Will def have to give the diaper changing option a try since I am chasing the boys around & having to hold them down for diaper changes :( this way would also eliminate the yes or no answers I automatically get from Garren without any real result or action.

  5. I knew that all of you guys with older kids would get a good laugh! I had a friend laugh at me yesterday too. She said that soon enough this tactic wasn't going to work!

  6. Love & Logic. Love that approach.
    Toddlers are easy to get to cooperate if you know different approaches. As K said, older kids are too smart and stubborn. LOL

  7. We love controlled choices around here too! Except sadly our "that's not a choice" response to her alternative suggestions gets parroted back to us when we say things like, "okay, I'm going to cook dinner now; you can play independently."

  8. I'm using this tactic a lot, too, and if it only works for a year or two, so be it! Hannah does have a hard time with food choices as she loves to eat so much. Yesterday I asked her if she's like a banana or apple sauce and she replied, "Banana-sauce?" :)

    - Kate